From Linda Priestley, Editor-in-Chief
For a long time, people thought that friendship was based on the idea of give-and-take: you help me, I help you; you do me a favour, I do you a favour. This idea assumes that the quality of a relationship depends on balancing what each person brings to it.
For anthropologists, there’s another type of friendship, known as risk-pooling, which serves as a natural insurance policy, with no conditions or immediate return. In ancient societies, which were at the mercy of disease, famine, and other unforeseen catastrophes, people would help a friend without expecting anything in return, knowing that the other person would be there for them if, one day, they themselves were in trouble.
This total and unconditional bond still exists: in villages, in urban areas where people are connected, in Indigenous communities, and even on social media. It’s demonstrated in the free gift of time, energy, or sacrifice. And we know that the other person—or other people—will step up in tough times. Among true friends, this solidarity is reflected in a wide range of simple, sometimes quiet, but essential actions: listening without judging, sending a message just to check in, preparing a meal, visiting for no particular reason, remembering a milestone birthday, or giving a handmade gift.
It can also involve offering help with a move or perhaps home repairs without keeping track. Sometimes, it means going across town to support a dear friend who is going through a tough time—not out of a sense of obligation but because being there for them matters.
This support is even more valued in difficult moments: taking a loved one to a medical appointment or being present during a bereavement. It becomes increasingly important with the passage of time: aging together, navigating losses, or dealing with illness, diminished independence, or minor and major physical infirmity. In these moments, the knowledge that someone who understands and supports you is by your side is reassuring: you’re not alone; we’re in this together, as a team.
Through these repeated actions, friendship also becomes an essential support for mental health. Knowing that you can rely on someone reduces stress, calms anxiety, and helps you get through times of uncertainty with more resilience. These connections offer a safe space where you can express your fears, doubts, and frailties without worrying that you’ll be judged or become a burden. They remind us, above all, that asking for help is not a weakness but a profoundly human reflex that allows us to better face life’s challenges.
True friendship rises above keeping track of who did what for whom. It is first and foremost a matter of heart, of presence, and of generosity. An unlimited insurance policy. A reminder of what truly connects us.
