From Linda Priestley, Editor-in-Chief
Being able to listen to one another—and hear one another—is incredibly important. In a turbulent world, it does us good to settle down, focus on our own needs, look after ourselves, and even set boundaries when we feel that people are stepping on our toes.
But cultivating the art of offering an attentive listening ear to others is important, too. When she appeared on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, American actress Sarah Paulson paid tribute to the late Diane Keaton, who had taken Paulson under her wing during the filming of The Other Sister more than 25 years ago. One of the main lessons she learned from her mentor was that the most important thing we can do for another person—a loved one, a colleague, or someone else—is to do our best to consider what they’re going through and what they’re feeling.
Attentive listening is an integral part of smooth communication and respectful conversation. In some cases, it also acts as a kind of solace. People who have been hurt by life often find great comfort in the compassion and kindness shown to them. The French journalist Antoine Leiris, who lost his wife during the attacks in Paris in 2015, describes in his book You Will Not Have My Hate how, despite the pain, he learned to be more attentive to life and to his son and others. The late Quebec comedian Jean Lapointe turned his personal struggle with alcoholism into a concrete commitment by creating Fondation Jean Lapointe, which works to fight addiction. He also embodied the idea that being present, offering comfort and a listening ear to people who feel alone or judged, often has a positive impact.
The website of the Tel-Aide Montréal active-listening call centre observes that compassionate listening can be beneficial for not only the person who is sharing their difficulties but also the one who “is there” for them. This exchange creates a bond, gives people a sense of making a contribution, and promotes social reconnection. That same site includes the following testimonial from a volunteer: “Being there when someone needs to talk makes me feel useful. I am convinced that my presence shows them that we care about them and they matter.”
Knowing how to listen means being able to welcome others: their joys, their sorrows, their lived experience. In the end, the best stories are the ones we write together—listening to one another, opening up to one another, and giving all we can.
