Anything that’s good for your relationship is good for you
By Katrina Caruso
One of the secrets to a long, happy marriage is having shared interests and experiences, and travel is a great way to create lasting memories of doing things together. If your honeymoon was a while ago, why not consider planning a second honeymoon to reconnect or to deepen your relationship?
A second honeymoon can be the ideal time to rejuvenate your relationship and to celebrate—or help you cope with—a major life event, such as the kids moving out, the birth of a grandchild, a special anniversary, or both partners retiring.
Sometimes, a second honeymoon can be a way to make up for a less-than-perfect first honeymoon. Perhaps you married young and had too little money or experience, or you chose a spot that didn’t work out the way you had planned. Whatever the reason, this can be an opportunity to do better.
Here are some tips for some second honeymoon magic:
– Plan it together, with your shared interests in mind. Perhaps you both love to walk around cities and people-watch. Or maybe you’re both into hiking or snorkeling. Whatever the activity, plan the trip around doing together something that you both enjoy.
– Decide on the destination by visualizing the setting. Do you want to see the churches in Europe? Is your ideal vacation spent on a beach? Write down the types of experiences you both want to have and see what matches up.
– Go somewhere different. You’ve probably travelled togther in the past, but perhaps you always ended up going to the same place. Maybe it’s time to finally visit the pyramids of Egypt or the pagodas in China.
– Try something new. The trip doesn’t have to be in a wildly different place, but you should plan to do at least one new thing together (shared new experiences build closeness). Take a helicopter ride, try a salsa class, or sample a new cuisine together.
– Remember to leave some breathing room for lazy mornings or spur-of-the-moment opportunities. If you overschedule yourselves, you might find that you’re exhausted when you get back home.
– Allow for alone time. Maybe your spouse wants to visit another museum, while you want to get some shopping in. It’s actually a great idea to have some time to yourselves, so that you can come together at the end of the day and have stories to share.
– Leave home behind. Get a pet-sitter, turn off your work e-mail, and don’t call home unless there’s an emergency. This trip should be about you and your spouse.
– Don’t expect this trip to solve every problem in your relationship. High expectations can ruin a trip, and it’s unrealistic to think that a getaway will sort out all the day-to-day issues that have arisen over time. If you’re experiencing troubles, don’t just head to the airport—consider making an appointment with a couples counsellor.